Being angry is a sensation we all experience umpteen times during our lives. An outburst of emotion so strong, that containing it remains an unachieved task for many. It is a time when all hell breaks loose and caution is thrown to the wind. Expletives are hurled for maximal emotional impact, regardless of the trauma it causes. The adrenaline gushes forth as our hearts race in tempo with the emotional tone.

It is these seconds of uncontrolled temper that many regret once the dust has settled. Unfortunately, whatever is said intentionally or otherwise, can never be retracted or withdrawn. On many occasions, the situation is beyond salvage especially when physical wrangling has marred the scene. A burst of insanity sowing the seeds for a lifetime of regret and misery.

Controlling one's anger is a skill that needs practice. It is not about bottling up of emotions but rather channeling such anger in an appropriate manner. It is about walking away even when your ego is at stake. It is about losing at that moment, to triumph in its aftermath. Good anger management is an attribute we should all attain for the sake of those we truly care about.

After a gruesome death, the media is out for more blood. They are now publicising lurid details of her personal escapades. Two failed marriages and an extramarital affair will certainly damage her credibility. This may work in favour of Abdul Razak Baginda, a government's "treasure", in his defence.

It paints a picture of unworthiness and flirtatious immorality. Yet, we have heard nothing about Abdul Razak. The local media is reluctant at releasing his skeletons in the closet and appear tight-lipped for now. Will the head of a think tank in Malaysia be successfully prosecuted for murder? Or will all the pre-trial antics be just a facade?

Ultimately, all the drama is worthy of a soap. The role of Altantuya has apparently been prematurely terminated, leaving scriptwriters scrambling to write a fairy tale finale.

Reported in The Star,

It’s the sexy dress, says council president

PENANG: If the dress was not sexy, the incident would not have happened.

This was Penang Municipal Council president Datuk Abu Bakar Hassan’s response to a complaint that a closed-circuit television (CCTV) camera in the City Hall was zooming in on the thighs of women journalists instead of council proceedings.

Abu Bakar was unhappy over the “sexy” attire worn by some women reporters during council meetings.

On Friday, a reporter spotted the image of a woman’s thighs on the CCTV monitor in the control room and alerted other journalists who complained to council secretary Ooi Chin Loo.

New Straits Times journalist Melissa Darlyne Chow, 23, who lodged a police report yesterday, said she was surprised by Abu Bakar’s “sexist” statement.

“He's implying that I was not properly attired and that I deserved the unwanted attention,” she said.

State Local Government committee chairman Datuk Dr Teng Hock Nan said he was awaiting a report from the council.

The statement by Dato Abu Bakar is ludicrous. Instead of directing his anger at the perpetrator, his attention is misdirected at a non-relevant issue. Perhaps even he was peeping at the thighs of journalists himself, to notice the sexy attire. He should never have justified the actions of the CCTV controller, absolving him of all guilt and placing the blame on female journalists.

His statements reflect an immature state of mind, highlighting his fitness or lack of, to hold a position of council president. Even his Datukship should be stripped for uttering such a brainless remark.

This is infringement of another's basic human right and Abu Bakar should be chastised for that.

Unfortunately, we have many similar loggerheads in positions of power in Malaysia, dragging Malaysia lower into a pit of destruction while surrounding communities and nations thrive at our expense.

The recent suspension of Malay Mail for publishing what was perceived as explicit sexual details is appalling. Why can't Malaysians talk about sex? In an era of an epidemic of HIV/AIDS, I think that it has become increasing pertinent to allow talks on sexuality and understanding its many complexities.

Women, Family and Community Development Minister Datuk Seri Shahrizat Abdul Jalil later told a press conference that the newspaper had been “irresponsible and downright vulgar”.

“I am so embarrassed for them,” she said, adding that she would bring up the issue at the next Cabinet meeting.

Shahrizat also said the media should be more responsible in reporting about “things that are best left at home or in the bedroom” and which were “too private and intimate.”

When Ministers become embarassed to talk about sex or to allow a free flow talk on sex, I can only fear that our battle against HIV/AIDS will only hit a snag, when this disease is so intertwined with sexual behaviours.

Malaysia is on the verge of a HIV/AIDS explosion and unless we are more comfortable with talking about sex, I fear that the African nightmare will only become a reality for us all. Leaving it at home or in the bedroom will only create greater naivety among our youths about sex, exposing them to a great risk for contracting sexual diseases early on in their lives.

When HIV/AIDS is claiming the lives of our young generation, we cannot wait for sex education to happen at home or bedrooms. We need to aggressively bring the messages across not only from a health standpoint but on the many facets of sexual behaviours and patterns.

Refusing to talk about sex is not an Eastern value. We are also probably the most sexually active people considering the large population that we generate! So let's talk more about sex and remove all the taboos that have been put in place. This is probably the first and most important step in our losing battle against HIV/AIDS.

The nature of death has shocked many. Two gunshot wounds to the head was apparently not enough and her body had to be blown to pieces, leaving only bony remnants. What sane human beings could do such ghastly acts?

Hiring professional help to solve a domestic dispute is a dastardly act. It hardly reflects an individual with Oxford credentials. What nauseates me is that he was a married man when he delved in such an illicit romance in Mongolia, perhaps falsely believing that an isolated and backward country could be the most apt place for such immorality.

I can only pray that justice be served to those responsible. No matter what the outcome is, such grisly murders will surely not escape God's wrath. Ms Shaaribuu, may your soul rest in peace.

Recent comments by Johor Menteri Besar, Abdul Ghani, has only cemented opinions that Malaysia is only going to be for the Malay race. Despite other races being given relative freedom with their daily activities, they remain sidelined. This move only dampens patriotism and raises the question of "where exactly is my motherland?"

Calls to remove meritocracy from universities and the rejection of a bangsa Malaysia notion are steps in the reverse. It goes to show the determination of the Malays to protect their special priviledges in all fields. Even the New Economic policy is forecasted to continue beyond 2020. So what are the Chinese and Indians doing in Malaysia, if we continue to be viewed as Chinese and Indians rather than Malaysians? What extra rights do I have, other than the ability to vote, as compared to a foreigner?

Instead of positive moves to create better assimilation among the races, the Government policy makers appear more adamant at defining borders between races. Their refusal to reveal the methodology of determining Malay equities has confirmed their guilt in manipulating data to support their quest for a better deal at the expense of other races.

For being an average Malaysian, I feel sidelined and marginalised and agree with Lee Kuan Yew's comments not too long ago. LKY's apology is only to appease the ASEAN spirit rather than the admittance of a distortion of true facts.

It is unfortunate that MCA and MIC has decided to abstain from racial debates despite UMNO rampaging on "ketuanan Melayu". They both appear as mere puppets and totally paralysed politically.

The direction that Malaysia is heading is hardly the country envisioned in 2020. We are losing direction. I fear that Malaysia will fail as a country in decades to come. Will the Chinese and Indians then defend the existence of a country that has so far made little attempts to support a bangsa Malaysia concept?

The feeling of homelessness is apparent.

Women often have very passionate views when it comes to polygamous men. Read this.

Men know that women hate to share. Anytime a man looks at another woman, jealousy and anger brews. What more when her man enters another marital or extra-marital relationship. Negative feelings are unavoidable and all wives in polygamous relationships will probably attest to that albeit inconspicuously.

Why then does a man stray into the arms of another woman?

The reasons for going into a marriage has to be strong and based on informed decisions. Many couples enter a marriage without even knowing what responsibilities that a marriage requires. Thus they enter a world, ill prepared, often proving detrimental to the relationship.

Many marriages also crumble from years of degenerative comments leading to a union spiralling down the path of destruction.

I feel polygamy is a man's easy way out of a frustrating relationship, under the protective veil of religion. The Quran is interpreted to the advantage of polygamist despite attempts by women organisations to clarify the facts surronding the statements in the Quran. Not surprisingly, the Government which is male-dominated, has decided to promote polygamy rather than discourage it in this era. Many top politicians even join the fray, leading to their reluctance in terminating that "right".

My stand is clear on polygamy. It should not exist. Just as a man wishes not to share his wife, the feelings of women should be taken into account and respected. Taking up a mistress or being polygamous displays a lack of respect for one's wife.

A marriage is a union of 2 souls, not 3.

"For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate." Mark 10:7-9

This article highlights the perils of today's marriages.

It highlights philandering husbands in its depicted scenarios of victimised women. Men it seems is the epitome of lust and women the angelic virgins. Historical facts does little justice to men when polygamous figures seem to hog history from emperors to musicians. Are men so despicable?

It often saddens me to think that couples so madly in love in courtships, could suffer from such irreparable differences deep into their marriage. The wonderful and intimate moments where love conquers all, eventually dissipating into squalid divorce proceedings. Many pessimists tell me that almost all marriages travel down this unfortunate path, some into divorces while others suffer in bitter silence.

Marriage vows are less revered now. It rests on a legal document with escape clauses, just in case. The sight of a storm is sufficient to crumble the foundations of marriage. What took years of nurturing evaporating after a split second of madness.

Is love not sufficient to conquer all? Is love so fickle minded? Is believing in love now an obsolete practice?

Materialistic credentials, it appears is now the criteria of success in this game. Anything less will only result in shattered hopes, broken dreams and splintered hearts. Love is beautiful. But when it fails, it opens the doors of hell. The heat shearing the very core of your heart and soul.

Is it worth the risk of anguish?

Perhaps this quote is summative

Love is strong yet delicate.
It can be broken.
To truly love is to understand this.
To be in love is to respect this.

- Stephen Packer -

Yes, I still do believe that love exists and marriages can succeed the cruel test of time. Am I foolish?

Love is patient and kind, Love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7